I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
