So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I would ride that face into the sunset
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
