At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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