After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize