so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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