so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
