just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
