We're facebook friends in real life
I am puke
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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