This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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