Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
