Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Alive.
So much puke
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
