I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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