I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
