Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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