Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
