Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
