Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
