Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive

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(775): View more from Nevada

before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.

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(954): View more from Florida

i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night

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(614): View more from Ohio

No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.

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(913): View more from Kansas

The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.

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(714): View more from California

If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.

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(+27): View more from South Africa

I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down

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