Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
