I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
