We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
