Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
