O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
