There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
