He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
