I wish I only lived at night.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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