Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
