is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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