Apparently you make a good broom.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
