My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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