Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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