i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text