Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
