I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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