Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
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