I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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