My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
