Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
