Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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