Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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