3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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