dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
