GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
