Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
