you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
