Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
