I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
