3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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