giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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