My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
