I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
