Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I AM VODKA MAN
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
