somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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