Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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