yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
