what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
