Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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