Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
