There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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